


Maybe God Spared Me So I Could Fall in Love With You

by ItsLivvvy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Jewish, Bottom Louis, Concentration Camps, Domestic Fluff, Engagement, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Foreign Language, Historical, Historical References, Holocaust, I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISTAKES, Jewish Character, Jewish Wedding, Knotting, London, M/M, Nightmares, Omega Louis, Omega Niall, Omega Verse, Self-Lubrication, Shabbat, Smut, Snogging, Top Harry, Wedding Night, Weddings, i mention them ok its a fair warning, the year is 1947
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-22 19:22:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2518991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsLivvvy/pseuds/ItsLivvvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We may be different, in a lot of ways, but we were the same in a whole lot more. He wanted me for me and I wanted him for him, scars and all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The world of 1947 wasn't as friendly to my kind as one might hope. Being a male omega, I was still considered less than my female counterparts. I was raised a man and I wanted to be independent. Unfortunately, it wasn't really something my type was destined for. It wasn't that I didn't want an alpha, I just hadn't found one that wanted me. I made it on my own, however, as a columnist in the local newspaper. I liked to write in this little cafe, that's where I met him. That's where things turned around.

 

"Hello, I'll take my usual." 

"What would your usual be?"A voice said with a heavy German accent. I looked up into sweet green eyes and this mess of brown hair, combed back as best he could, but it still managed to get in his face.

"Oh, a large tea, milk and two sugars and a blueberry scone."I said. He got it for me and I paid him. I went to sit with my omega friend, Eleanor.

"So, what do you think of the German?"She asked sipping at my tea. She's the reason I always have to get a large.

"He's cute."I said looking back at him.

"It's hot in here, how is he wearing long sleeves?"Eleanor shrugged and bit into my scone.

"Hey, that's mine."I protested taking it from her.

"A girl's got to eat."She said leaning back to place a hand on her round bump.

"Well tell your demon spawn to get it's own scone."I laughed."This one is mine."I took a bite out of my scone and looked at the German boy behind the counter again. I was surprised to see him looking at me too. He quickly looked away, but kept stealing glances back.

"I think you have an admirer."Eleanor commented taking another sip of my tea.

"You think?"I asked tilting my head to the side.

"Yes, I do." 

"He could be nice."I said."I need a date anyway." 

"For what?" 

"Some gala and the boss says I need a date so I don't look too, you know, independent."I scoffed."He'd be perfect."

 

I walked confidently over to the counter and leaned over it.

"Hey you, German boy."I said and he turned.

"Ja?" 

"Would you like to go out to a gala with me?"He stopped washing cups and his face paled.

"I do not think that would be a good idea." 

"Why not?"I asked going to touch his arm but he flinched back from me."I'm an omega, you're an alpha. It makes sense."He cocked his head to the side.

"Du bist eine omega?"He said."You are very, um, not the same as others." 

"Neither are you. I want you to come with me."I told him.

"Ja, I will come." 

"Great, you can pick me up tomorrow at 7:00."I handed him a slip of paper with my address on it.

 

I went home to an empty apartment, stacked with paper and notebooks. I had a meagre kitchen and a bed in one corner. I had had a hard time finding anyone who would give me somewhere to stay considering I was omega. They were all afraid of my heats and what they would do to them. The truth was that I was on smuggled suppressants. That kind of birth control was illegal for unmated omegas, but I got it from a doctor that wanted to help. I knew lots of male omegas who went to him. He was a life saver. I collapsed on my bed and realized something.

"Shit, I don't even know German boy's name."

 

I showed up to the cafe the next morning.

"Tag, your usual?"He asked. I nodded.

"What's your name?"I asked and he looked up.

"Harry." 

"I'm Louis."I said reaching my hand across the counter."Pleased to meet you."He shook my hand.

"I have been pleased to meet you too."His odd wording was strangely cute.

"Do you still want to go to the gala with me?" 

"Ja, it sounds, um, fun."Harry replied."I have not been out often."I took my scone from him eating it while he prepared my tea.

"Where are you from?"I asked.

"Germany."I rolled my eyes.

"I know that, but where are you from in Germany?"He sighed and gripped the counter.

"Berlin." 

"Do you have family there?"He sighed again.

"Not anymore."My first thought was the war and the bombings.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were they killed in the war?" 

"Ja."Came his snappy answer. I dropped it after that. I didn't like talking about the war either.

"So, you have to wear a nice jacket to this event."I told him and his eyebrows raised.

"A jacket? Is this a nice, um, show?"I nodded."Oh, I do not have a jacket."My eyes lit up.

"I'll take you to get one!" 

"I do not have much money." 

"I know a guy, come on."He sighed snapping the lid on my tea.

"Zum Himmel noch mal."He whispered as I pulled him towards the door."I have to work." 

"I'll cover for you!"The blonde boy, Niall, behind the counter yelled.

"What is that English phrase? I owe you?"Harry asked. Niall nodded.

"No problem, Harry." 

"Come on!" 

"I am coming!"

 

The part of town my suit guy was in was kind of sleazy, but we were friends. Zayn and his wife were the epitome of beta couple excellence.

"What do you need now Lou?"Zayn asked as I came through the door.

"Not for me, for him."Zayn looked up at Harry and frowned.

"I'm guessing this is for tonight."I nodded."You give me no time to work Louis."He complained. Harry looked around.

"I am uncomfortable."He stated, very matter of factly.

"Why?"I asked as Zayn came back out with a tape measure.

"Nazi Germany makes a person uneasy."He stated as Zayn measured him.

"You're not part of the third reich are you?"Zayn asked and I saw Harry physically stiffen at the question.

"Nein."He answered coldly. After Zayn finished with his measurements Harry paced the room. He watched his feet and counted his steps in German.

"Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn."He counted over and over. I knew that he was counting one through to ten, I could recognize that. I just wasn't sure why.

"You're a lucky bastard Louis, we have a suit to fit him."Zayn said carrying it out over his shoulder.

"You're a lifesaver Zayn."I told him and Harry looked up from his steps.

"How much do I, um, give you?"Zayn furrowed his brow and looked at me.

"Is he asking how much it costs?" 

"Ja, how much do I give you?"He repeated and Zayn laughed.

"It'll be 20 pounds on the dot."He frowned and got out a tenner.

"This is all I have."He explained and Zayn took it.

"That's fine."Harry carried the suit out the door and took it back to the cafe.

 

"Nice suit Harry."Niall commented.

"Danke, um I mean, thank you."Niall smiled at him.

"You can go home." 

"No, I must work."He said, proceeding to then slam his hand against the wall."Verdammt!"He yelled clutching his hand.

"See, now you have to go home. You're hurt."I cooed."What did you say?" 

"It was a swear word, I should not have said it."I sat him down at the table and inspected his hand.

"Good news, it's not broken."I said probing around.

"You are not a nurse."He stated.

"No, but my Mum was and I can tell you it's not broken, I think you should rest it, omega's orders."He smiled down at me.

"I will go home to rest it then." 

"I'll take you there."

 

I walked him home, reminded him to pick me up and then went back to the cafe.

"Look at you getting up close and personal with an alpha."Niall teased.

"I'm just taking him to the gala."I protested.

"If you needed someone to take to the gala, why didn't you take me?"He asked.

"You're another omega Niall. Liam wants me to be more settled like an omega should be."Niall rolled his eyes.

"You could've taken anyone, but you chose him. You like him." 

"He talks funny." 

"You like him."Niall sang.

"Shut up Niall!"I went to sit at my normal table and write. I was answering questions, that was my job. I wrote until 5:00, walked home and changed. I waited for Harry to come and get me. We had to walk there.

 

"Hallo, Louis?"Harry said.

"I'm coming Harry."I ran out to meet him and he offered me his arm."You don't have to do that." 

"Why not?"He asked and I just slipped my arm into his elbow. He smiled at me.

"It is a beautiful night, ja?"I nodded.

"It's a nice night. Oh there's the place."I pulled him towards the hall and he seemed hesitant."It's not like anyone in there is going to bite."I told him and he nodded.

"Right."When we got into the event Liam bombarded me.

 

"Who's this?"He asked pointing at Harry.

"I am Harry."He said sticking out his hand.

"You're German." 

"Ja."Harry looked at the ground.

"He's more than that."I protested slipping my hand into his."He's my date."Liam nodded.

"I can see that." 

"Can you dance Harry?"I asked and he nodded.

"I dance well. I think."I led him onto the dance floor and we began to twirl. He was an excellent dancer.

"You dance liked a pro." 

"A what?"He asked.

"A pro, like a professional." 

"Oh, Danke." 

"You're cute when you speak German."He blushed.

"It is a hard language, much like English, but a little more angry."He explained slowly, as if he was trying to find the right words.

"How so?"I asked as we switched directions.

"I have been told that when I speak my language, I sound angry."I tilted my head to the side.

"Angry?" 

"It's a very loud, hard language."He explained. I couldn't explain it, really. He was just so adorable and he had this sad quality about him. Even when he smiled, his eyes looked sad.

"I am a very loud person."I said jokingly and he laughed.

"Maybe I could teach you some German one day."He whispered in my ear. This was how I met him. This was the beginning.

 

"Everyday you come here. Why?"Harry asked as he handed my scone over the counter.

"I like it here. I like you."I said running my finger down his chin.

"Oh, that is interesting."He commented stirring the milk into my tea."Do you want me to break with you?" 

"Yes Harry, you can have your break with me."I laughed pinching his cheek. He spent every break with me. I spent all day at the cafe. We went on like this for weeks. I would say we were in a relationship. He seemed to think so too. He started to reach out for my hand and stroke over my fingers. He leaned in close and when he talked to me. He didn't talk as slowly anymore and I was learning to understand him even with the accent and the mistakes. When he was tired his accent got heavier and he would slip into his native tongue more often. He would always translate afterwards if he did, but I was starting to understand more by default. I was starting to get used to him being there. I was starting to think that I'd finally found an alpha who wanted me.

 

"Louis, I would like to take you to my home for dinner."Harry said. It had been about a month since we met.

"I would love to Harry."I was practically beaming. Niall shot me thumbs up.

"Harry, do you think we could be a couple?"I asked.

"I thought we were a couple."He stated and I felt like I was going to cry.

"We are."I assured him."If you want to be." 

"Ja, ja, I want that very much."He said excitedly and quickly. His accent may have made his words unrecognizable to most, but not to me.

"Are you courting me Harry?"He nodded vigorously.

"I have every intention for this to be serious."He said slowly, wanting to get the words right. I placed my hand over my heart.

"You want this to be a serious relationship? How serious?"I asked, leaning forward slightly. I was hoping he'd say what I wanted to hear. He leaned in slightly closer, like what he was about to say was only appropriate for my ears to hear.

"Paarung, mating serious."He whispered. I could've kissed him right then, but I didn’t.

"What day do you want me to come?" 

"Donnerstag, I mean Thursday."He smiled at me. I smiled back.

 

"Liam, here's my columns for this week."I handed him my writing and he took them willingly.

"Why are you so happy today?"He asked and I looked down.

"You know that alpha I brought to the gala?"I asked and Liam nodded."He's asked me over for dinner and he actually said he's courting me. He told me it was Paarung serious!"I said and Liam furrowed his brow at me.

"What does Paar-whatever mean?" 

"Mating."I answered and Liam sat back.

"This is big then."I nodded."Do you think this German is the one?"I bit my lip and nodded again.

"I really do think he might be."Liam frowned.

"He's German." 

"Why should that matter?" 

"Do you know what he was doing during the war?"I pursed my lips.

"No one likes to talk about the damned war Liam."He shook his head at me.

"What if he's a Nazi?" 

"Harry couldn't be! He's too sweet."I defended, but Liam wasn't convinced.

"I'm sure they all seem that way." 

"Just because he's German doesn't mean he's one of them."I stated and Liam sighed.

"You barely know him." 

"I know he's not a Nazi."Liam scoffed.

"I would rethink letting him knot with you Louis until you actually know him." 

"You're not my father Liam; you can't tell me what to do. He's not a bloody Nazi."I seethed, stalking out of his office and slamming the door behind me. Why did he have to do that? Finally someone was actually interested in me and not my already mated friends who happened to be girls. Why did he have to ruin it? I was happy.

 

I was at Harry's door at 5:30. I knocked, it took him awhile to answer. I looked to my right and noticed that there was a small, rectangular box type ornament screwed to the door frame. The tarnished metal did not gleam and there was a strange looking mark on the upper end of it. It looked like an upside down M. It also had a faded looking star, or at least I think it was a star. I really couldn't tell anymore. It looked like it had seen a few things. The metal strip seemed out of place since no other door I could see had one, but I did not question it. I didn't feel like it would be right to question him about everything, not just yet. Harry opened the door, finally, and smiled at me.

"Louis, come in."He gestured me in to the small space. He actually had rooms, so it was a step up from me.

"It's nice."I commented.

"Do you think so?"Harry asked and I nodded. I went to open a door, but Harry caught my hand.

"It's just a closet."He explained. I believed him. He talked to me about Berlin in the summer and how beautiful it was. He never mentioned his family.

"I have five sisters and a brother."I told him.

"That is a big family." 

"Yes, it is. Mum always made sure we were properly fed and clothed. She did well by us. Even when I turned out omega, she was the first to assure me that I was going to be OK. I wasn't so sure of that. I couldn't think of a single alpha in my hometown that would want me."Harry frowned."So I moved here, London. I was hoping to have better luck here and maybe find a job. I did one part of that."I laughed and Harry corrected me.

"You did both. You found me."I looked at him.

"You're serious about being serious right?"I asked.

"I do not understand?"Harry tilted his head to the side confused.

"You're not just playing with me are you? I need to be sure you actually mean what you say. Can you actually see yourself mating with me?"I asked and he nodded.

"Ja, I can see our children Louis."I stared at him.

"Oh God, you are serious."I shook my head in disbelief."I never thought this would happen to me." 

"It is happening now."I laughed.

"Yeah, it is."

 

We sat down to dinner and he prayed beforehand. Not in the typical way you normally would. I had been raised Catholic. I did my cross and prayer, but he seemed to almost be reciting something. It wasn't in English either, but I don't think it was German.

"Now we can eat."He assured me. I nodded and looked down at the chicken before me.

"It looks good."I commented cutting a piece. It tasted delicious."How can you cook this well?"I asked.

"Practice."He said simply and I laughed.

"I need the loo." 

"The what?" 

"The toilet, Harry."I said giggling.

"Oh, first door on your right."

 

I went down the hall and opened the first door, on my left. I had issues with directions sometimes. I was brought face to face with something I didn't expect to see. There was a Star of David hanging from the ceiling and unlit candles on a shelf at the bottom. There were a pair of striped pyjama looking things on the floor. There appeared to be various religious artifacts on that shelf, including another smaller closet that was clean, but what really caught my eye was the copy of Mein Kampf sitting on the shelf above. In that instant everything Liam had said about him being a Nazi came flooding back.

"Oh my God, he's one of them."My stomach churned, bile rose in my throat, and my limbs felt heavy. Had I actually allowed myself to fall for a murderer?

"Louis, what are you doing?"Harry called and I slammed the door shut. I turned to see him standing there. His eyes were cold.

"I told you the door on the right."He said quietly.

"Harry, what is that?"I asked."Why do you have all that stuff in a closet?" 

"Let me explain Louis." 

"No, I trusted you. I told you everything, but you. You murderer!"I pushed him back from me by placing the palms of my hands on his chest and giving him a good shove. He looked shocked.

"I never hurt anyone. You have to believe me Louis, I did not hurt people."He pleaded.

"Oh please, I saw your copy of Mein Kampf. Did you ever meet him? Or did you just watch as he murdered millions?"I spat and his face hardened.

"I did neither." 

"Don't lie to me, Harry!"I yelled and he took a step forward.

"I am not a liar, I did not support him." 

"Prove it, Harry!"He went silent."You can't. I can't believe this."I was ready to hit him and I was definitely ready to leave.

"A Eins fünf null neun sieben."He said quietly.

"What?"I asked. He started to roll up his one sleeve. I watched as he revealed more and more of his arm, there was a number there, A-15097.

"A Eins fünf null neun sieben, ich bin Jude."He said."I am a Jew."

 

My hand came up to cover my mouth and I reached forward with shaking fingers to touch the tattooed number. I had to make sure it was real.

"I'm so sorry."I apologized."I didn't mean to, I thought you were."I just shook my head.

"How could I be so stupid. Liam put all these ideas in my head. I shouldn't have listened to him. I knew you were too sweet." 

"Louis, you are rambling."Harry stated pulling his sleeve down again.

"You're a Jew, it all makes sense now."He buttoned his cuff again and cleared his throat.

"I was in a camp, but I do not wish to talk about it." 

"Of course, I wouldn't make you Harry."I assured him and he stepped aside.

"You may leave now. I understand if you would not want to be seen with me."I stared at him.

"No, Harry I don't think you're a terrible person because you're Jewish."He looked hopeful.

"You do not?" 

"I don't, believe me. Let's go finish dinner."

 

When I showed back up at the cafe the next morning he smiled at me.

"Meine Lieblingsperson! Louis, do you want your scone now or later?"He asked and I just stared at him.

"I need to talk to you."I said and he nodded.

"So talk."I looked around at the busy cafe and shook my head.

"In private."Eleanor looked at me funny from our usual table.

"I'll be over with Eleanor. When you have your break, come over."I said. He looked so concerned.

"It's nothing bad, I promise."I stroked my thumb over his cheek. He handed my scone and tea over slowly. He still looked apprehensive of what I was about to tell him.

"What was that about?"Eleanor asked taking a drink from my cup.

"We need to talk."She raised her eyebrows."He's pretty serious about us."I told her quietly and she sat up quickly.

"How serious?" 

"Serious Eleanor."She smiled widely.

"I knew you'd find someone. You're too gorgeous not to."I rolled my eyes, because she'd been saying that for years. I was just glad it had actually come true.

 

"I am breaking."Harry said, standing behind me and I laughed.

"Darling, say it with me. I am on break." 

"I am on break." 

"Good, now come on."I grabbed his hand and led him outside, around the building to where everyone took their smoke breaks if they worked in the kitchen. You could just smoke inside if you didn't.

"Would you like one?"Harry asked holding out a package of cigarettes.

"No, I'm fine."I assured him. He lit one, throwing the match on the ground and taking a long drag. He blew it out as I tried to figure out how to say this. I finally decided to just say it.

"Harry, what does your people do when it comes to mating?"He looked at me funny.

"My people?" 

"Yes, Harry, the Jews."His eyes widened.

"Oh, well, we have strict courting regulations and we never court without intent to marry."He explained."We're not really even supposed to touch each other."He looked ashamed of himself as he said this.

"So we shouldn't hold hands at all, or kiss or anything."I repeated, just to be sure.

"Until we're married, and then only in private."He explained."I can do that."I said and he looked up surprised.

"You can? You will?"He sounded excited.

"Yes Harry, it's your tradition and if we're going to be together I want to follow it."His gaze softened.

"OK, ja, that would be good. The only part I guess we can skip is the meeting of my parents."He laughed half heartedly and I wanted to touch him, but I remembered the rules.

"Why can't we touch?"I asked.

"It is a rule in my religion that alphas and omegas should not touch each other at all. It is believed that any touch is intimate and should not be shared between anyone you are not intimate with. The only people you should be intimate with are your family and your partner."I tried to grasp the concept.

"So you can hug and kiss you family and your omega, after you've been married, just not in public."He nodded.

"Family is a little different, but the alpha and omega thing is correct." 

"I guess we already broke that rule."He chuckled.

"I broke it first it is not your fault."He assured me."I could not resist the um, urge to touch your skin."He took another drag off his cigarette.

"If what we need to do to be together is get married, then let's get married."I said and he laughed.

"It's not that simple. If we're going to do this like I should do this, the Jewish way, there's things I need to do."I raised my eyebrows."First, I have to ask your parents and then we have to sign a contract. I also have to break a plate."I took a deep breath in.

"I'll take that cigarette now."He handed me one and lit it for me. I blew the smoke out of mouth at the same time Harry did.

"Look, we are, how do I say it, parallel?"I laughed flicking the ashes to the side.

"Not quite, I'll call my parents OK?"He nodded.

"That sounds like a good plan. One more thing Louis?" 

"What?"I asked puffing on the cigarette as he took a deep breath in.

"We cannot get married in a synagogue of you are not Jewish."I looked at him. He bit his lip, like he knew he was asking too much."They frown upon marriages between faiths. If you want to marry me, you have to convert."

 

I threw the cigarette on the ground, stomping it out and staring at him. I shook my head.

"I'm not sure I can do that for you Harry."I told him."I was raised Catholic and I want to be respectful towards your traditions, but altering my entire belief system seems like a little much."He sighed and scrunched up his nose.

"It is too much to ask, I know, but I want to marry you Louis. I am serious about my intentions of Paarung, mating you. I want to make my family proud by doing it in the synagogue, even if they cannot see it in person."He sniffed. I pursed my lips at him.

"What's involved in converting and do I have to do it in front of people?"I asked and he smiled sadly.

"I do not want you to do this if it does not feel right."I shook my head.

"Harry, I'm as serious about this as you are. I want to be your family. You may have lost yours, but you can build a new one with me."His smile lit up his entire face.

"It is a hard and long process. You have to study for at least a year."He told me and I groaned.

"Just tell me that you'll help me." 

"I will help you as much as I can."Harry answered."You have to do this by yourself Louis, I am a born Jew and I cannot provide much help. A conversion is a personal decision and the rabbi will not accept the answer that you want to marry me to convert you." 

"I have to explain myself to a rabbi?"He nodded."What else am I supposed to say?" 

"Tell him that you really want to convert. That you feel it is the right religious path." 

"I guess we'll try."

 

I did try. It took us a month to even find a rabbi willing to give me a chance. As soon as they heard I wanted to marry Harry they coined me as unsuitable. It was like they didn't want us to exist.

"My answer is no."The rabbi told me shaking his head.

"What? Why?"I asked and he sighed.

"You answered the questions exactly the way a true faith seeking individual should, but your heart did not mean them."I felt like I was going to cry.

"Can't you just let me convert? This means so much to him."The rabbi shook his head again.

"You are doing this for love and marriage, I understand that, but it isn't the right reason. No matter how much you want it to be."He placed a hand on my shoulder."God will find a way for you to be together, if that's what's meant to happen."I walked out of the office and Harry stood suddenly.

"Rabbi."He addressed the older man respectfully and then shifted his gaze down to me.

"No."I said quietly and he entire body slumped.

"Oh, that is alright."He assured me, but I knew it wasn't. This was all he'd asked of me. He just wanted to have a Jewish wedding ceremony, but I couldn't even give him that. I was a failure.

"I'm so sorry Harry."I whispered and he shook his head.

"It is alright. We can try again."He said but I just shook my head.

"You should go find a Jewish omega. I'm not the right one obviously."I sat in a chair and buried my face in my hands. Harry looked up at the rabbi standing there.

"Don't give up Louis."The rabbi said."Your love is strong. It can survive. I may not approve of interfaith relationships, because they tend to not work out, but you two may just be the one in a million."I sniffed and looked up at him.

"How am I supposed to be his one in a million if we can't even get married?"The rabbi sighed.

"God willing, He will find a way."

 

We went back to Harry's flat after that and he gave me some water to drink.

"We could get married in the church."I said quietly and Harry nodded.

"We could." 

"We could get married in the Catholic Church, I'm baptized and I'm sure I could get them to let us get married." 

"I am a Jew, they wouldn't even let me in the front doors."He laughed half heartedly."We just need to keep trying." 

"For how much longer Harry? How much longer am I going to have to put off touching you? How much longer do we have to wait to actually be together?"I asked.

"As long as it takes."Harry answered.

"You have a lot more patience than I do."I whispered."Why don't you want to just get married?"He looked at me.

"You said you wanted to respect my traditions." 

"That was before I knew you didn't love me enough to just get married."He looked at me."Don't you just want to be together."I asked.

"Of course I do, but I have to follow tradition."He answered. I rolled my eyes and stood from the couch.

"We tried that Harry, it didn't work. Now it's time to just do it." 

"I am not giving up on my faith." 

"I'm not asking you to stop being Jewish Harry." 

"It sounds like you are."I turned to him and scowled.

"I'm asking you to love me enough to give me this." 

"I cannot if I have to give up."I was up to my face in frustration. It wasn't really him. I just wanted to marry him, but it seemed like everyone was against that happening. The rabbis, the church and seemingly now Harry as well.

"Why? Why can't you give this to me?"I screamed and his face snapped towards me.

"These are my traditions." 

"Are your traditions worth more than me? Is the stomping on a glass and a prayer in Hebrew worth more to you than I am?"I asked. He looked flustered.

"No, you are worth the world Louis, but so is stomping on a glass and a Hebrew prayer." 

"Why? Why can't you compromise?"That's when Harry exploded.

"I starved in Auschwitz and watched my father die for my faith! What would all that mean if I just caved on my beliefs now? It would mean nothing! I did not survive the Nazi regime to compromise!"He yelled, his accent getting thicker until he was speaking German. I don't know what he said to me, but he obviously didn't realize he had slipped back into his native tongue, because he didn't stop. I pressed my back against the wall and covered my face.

"Nein, du wirst mich ansehen!"He took a step towards me and that's when I let out a sob. I had been silently crying behind my hands for a few minutes while he yelled, but that was the first audible sob I'd let out. He stopped.

"Louis, sieh mich an. I mean, Louis, look at me."He said and I shook my head."Louis, please."I sniffed, wiping at my eyes before looking at him.

"I am sorry."He said."I should not have raised my voice." 

"No, it's OK, I shouldn't have asked that of you. After all you've been through."He stopped me.

"I have been through much, but you do not deserve to have it taken out on you. You did not order the extinction of my people."He brushed my hair off my forehead and gestured me over to the couch.

"Come, sit again meine Liebe."I did so reluctantly."I want to show you something."

 

He brought out Mein Kampf and I crinkled up my nose.

"It is not that."He assured me. He opened it and I was surprised to see it hollowed out and inside that hollow were pictures.

"This is my family."He said quietly."This is my sister, her name was Gemma. This is meine Mutti, um, my mother. Her name was Anne."The women in the picture were happy and smiling. I could see the family resemblance.

"They're beautiful."I told him looking closely at the picture.

"This is my father, he was a strict man, but he loved us."The man in the photograph didn't look as much like Harry as I expected, but maybe I would see it more when he aged.

"Who are they?"I asked pointing to a picture of two little girls. Harry swallowed hard as he picked up the picture.

"They are meine Nichten, my nieces."He cleared his throat."Jutta was the older one. She loved to draw and ride in the car. She was just starting primary school when the war started."He smiled."The younger was Gisela, she was going into kindergarten and she loved to learn. She was so excited to go to school."His voice shook.

"They were too young to understand what was going on. They couldn't understand why they had to leave their home and go to the ghettos, or why they couldn't play with all the other kids."I looked over to see tears running down his face.

"They were too young to die."In that moment I forgot all about the rules forbidding me from touching him. I just pulled his head into my neck.

"I miss them."He sobbed.

"I know, I know Harry."He gripped my arms and just let it out. I don't think he'd ever really let himself cry. He was rubbing his face into the crook of my neck when I looked down again. That's when I saw the ring.

"What's this?"I whispered and Harry looked up. He reached into the book and picked up the ring.

"It was my mother's. She slipped it into my hand before they sent her to the."He stopped, taking in a shaky breath."It was her wedding ring."I stared down at the ring in his hand while he was staring at me.

"Louis, I want you to have it."I shook my head quickly.

"No, Harry keep it."I tried to insist, but he was sliding it on my finger as I did so.

"I think they would have liked you."He said."Jutta definitely would have thought you were wonderful and Gisela loved everyone. Gemma and my parents would have loved you because you love me." 

"I'm not Jewish, would they really have loved me?"I asked running my finger over the gold band.

"It would not have mattered. They still would have loved you. They might have even gotten our rabbi to let you convert. I do not know where our rabbi is anymore."He furrowed his brow.

"Do you want to go see a film?"I asked and he nodded.

"That would be nice."

 

After that I knew what I had to do. I found the only rabbi we hadn't been to see. He was the head of a reformed synagogue and Harry didn't like the idea of going to a reformed rabbi because he wasn't reformed, but we didn't have a choice any longer.

"Hello Rabbi, I'm Louis."I said shaking his hand. The rabbi took me into his office.

"What can I do for you Louis?"He asked.

"My alpha, well I guess he's just my fiancé."I rubbed my finger over the ring."He's Jewish, but I'm not and no one will marry us. You're my last hope."He looked at me.

"Why don't you get married in a church?" 

"He wants the Jewish ceremony and I'm trying to get him that." 

"It's really important to you that he gets this." 

"He'd kill me if he found out I did this, but he wants to honour his parents who died in the war."The rabbi nodded.

"Did they die in the bombs?" 

"I'm not at liberty to tell his story for him."The rabbi raised his eyebrows."I tried to convert, but I can't. I need your help."He nodded.

"Is your alpha German?"I nodded."He speaks with a heavy accent and if he gets too excited it gets thicker." 

"How did you know that?"I asked and he laughed.

"He's my next appointment."I turned towards the door and the rabbi opened it. Harry was in the waiting room.

"Louis, meine Liebe, what are you doing here?"He asked.

"I was begging him to marry us."I explained and Harry's face lit up.

"I was going to do the same thing. I could kiss you Louis." 

"Don't go breaking tradition for me."I joked. The rabbi laughed at us and nodded.

"I'll marry you." 

"Really?" 

"Really."I jumped up and clapped excitedly."Harry, one question." 

"Anything." 

"What does meine Liebe mean?"His eyes softened and he moved hair out of my eyes.

"It means my love."

 

There was barely any time at all to plan.

"Louis, we need to pick colours."Harry reminded me and I nodded.

"Yes, OK."I nodded."I like red and purple."Harry raised his eyebrows.

"OK, if that is what you want, meine Liebe."I smiled at the term of endearment.

"You're adorable Harry."He nodded as if he agreed with me. I sat beside him on the floor as he went through his closet, the one in the hall on the left. I picked up the coat he had in there.

"I am going to need that soon."He laughed and then I saw the yellow star with 'Jude' written on it sewed into the coat's lapel.

"Not with this on it."I travelled to find a pair of scissors, draped the coat over my lap and began to cut the star off. Harry looked over lovingly at me.

"Danke." 

"You're welcome."I smiled at him. I cut the stitches that held the yellow monstrosity to the coat with precision. When it was finally gone I handed it to him.

"Go throw it in the fire Harry."I told him and he shook his head.

"I am going to keep it, in case someone forgets one day about the damage labelling can cause."He rearranged the candles, from most used to least although I couldn't tell you why. I didn't question the alpha beside me, I just let him do what he needed to do. Then he picked them up. The striped uniform I'd seen the first time I opened the closet.

"What is it?"I asked and he sighed.

"It was what we all wore in the camp."His fingers stroked over it slowly as he took shaky breaths in."It was easier to identify stripes."He placed it back in the closet and put the Jude star on top of it.

"We're getting married Harry."I said and he nodded.

"Ja, and I do not have a single family member left to watch it happen."I crinkled up my forehead at him.

"Are you having a bad day Harry?"I asked.

"I am just missing them today."I resisted the urge to cuddle up to him.

"It's OK to be sad."I told him and he nodded.

"I know, I just wish I had more left of them. I wish my last memories of my father were not connected to that horrible place."I hesitated to rub his shoulder.

"Louis?" 

"Yes, Harry." 

"Could you put your hand on my shoulder?"I was shocked, but I did it anyway. I rubbed my hand over his shoulder and over his upper back.

"I'll be there. I'm your family Harry."He nodded.

"Meine Liebe, what would I do without you?"I smiled at him.

"You'd find another way to get on with life, but you'd have less of whatever you find useful in me." 

"You are very useful." 

"Not in the kitchen."I joked and he laughed.

"No, you are not helpful in the kitchen at all."

 

The first Shabbat, or the Jewish sabbath, I spent with Harry was strange. It's not that the religion is weird, it was just very new and different. The Shabbat begins on sundown Friday night. He was scrambling to get everything in order for the night's activities. He lit the candles and looked at me.

"The prayer is supposed to be said by the woman or omega of the house, but I will do it since you do not know the prayer."I nodded thankfully. He started to recite this Hebrew stanza. It almost sounded like a song and I felt like I was in the presence of something very spiritual. After that was done he looked at me again.

"We have to go to the synagogue now, but you do not have to come." 

"If I'm going to do Shabbat then I'm going to do it."He smiled half heartedly.

"You would not be with me. You would be with the other omegas."I understood then why he wanted me to stay home.

"I can do it."I assured him.

"Louis." 

"I want to do this Harry. I'm going to convince them to convert me eventually." 

"OK."He sighed.

We walked to the synagogue and he directed me to my section.

"If you want to leave I will understand."He told me quietly."Just meet me just outside the entrance."He looked down.

"Unroll your sleeves."I quickly did so and he did up my cuffs.

"Sorry."I whispered.

"You did not know. Hurry alone meine Liebe."He laughed wandering off to his section.

 

I felt extremely uncomfortable sitting with the other omegas. I could see Harry in the section where the alphas sat, but I knew he was paying attention to the service. I felt out of place and like everyone knew I was out of place. I felt like they were all staring at me. I sat through the entire thing though and met Harry afterwards. He was so proud of me.

"You did good meine Liebe."He told me. The old woman sitting beside me looked up at Harry.

"You're German?"He nodded and her face softened."Did you?"The rest of the question was implied.

"Yes."He said quickly."Come Louis, let us go home."

 

We went home and Harry set out the food.

"Now, we eat."Harry said and I groaned.

"I was wondering when I'd get to taste whatever it is you've been making."He chuckled as he recited the prayer over the braided bread in front of him. I just watched him. He was in his element and he looked so sure of himself. It was nice to see him so confident.

"This is called challah."He said."It is bread."I took the piece he offered me. He brought out the stew then and we ate.

"So, what did you think of the service?"Harry asked. I looked down at my bowl.

"It wasn't anything in the sermon. I just felt awful, like everyone knew."I told him.

"Knew what?"He asked shifting forward.

"That I didn't belong there and that I wasn't Jewish. I want to be able to do this for you. That prayer that you said the omega is supposed to say, I want to be able to do that."I replied and Harry clicked his tongue.

"I will teach you the prayer Louis."He said."If you want to say it, then you can." 

"Really?"He furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"Of course. About them thinking you were out of place, they knew you were not Jewish the moment you walked in with your sleeves rolled up. Some of the others confronted me about it, but when they heard about you and what you have done for me so I can practice the traditions of my religion, they accepted you. The rabbi might have to let you convert just because the congregation thinks you are so lovely."I was taken aback.

"Really, they like me?"He nodded.

"Not many Gentiles would be as accepting as you are. Most Jews are used to being confronted with hatred and disgust. You were so willing to accept and embrace my culture, even become a part of it, and that is unheard of."I smiled and wiggled in my seat.

"That's so nice."I said.

 

Just as we were finishing up, Harry had barely said the closing prayer, when our door was being knocked upon.

"Hallo?"Harry answered and it was this family of people."Oh, hello everyone."Harry greeted them happily and I was petrified. It was this couple, obviously alpha and omega, a man and woman with their three kids. They had two girls and a boy.

"Harry, we heard you brought someone to service."The man said, his gaze drifting to me. I felt myself physically draw back from him.

"Yes, this is Louis."Harry said and I waved stiffly.

"Hello dear, no need to be afraid."The woman said."I'm Margaret, this is my husband Joseph and our kids, Caleb, Ruth and Esther." 

"All biblical names."I said.

"Torah names."She corrected and my mouth snapped shut.

"Louis, these are some people I met at the synagogue and they live down the hall."Harry explained.

"OK."I squeaked.

"Oh Joseph, we scared him."Margaret said standing up and sitting on the couch.

"I'm fine, I just didn't expect people to show up." 

"We wanted to meet the famous Louis."Joseph said."All Harry ever does is talk about you. How lucky he is and how much he wants to marry you."I saw Harry turn red as a tomato.

"Does he now?"I asked."I think he's pretty wonderful as well. Did he tell you that I'm not."I trailed off and Margaret nodded.

"Oh yes, we know you're not Jewish and we also know you went to almost every rabbi in town to try and convert."She scoffed."It's ridiculous that they couldn't see you're genuine about what you want."I tilted my head to the side.

"I would've let you convert. It would've made this a lot easier."Joseph said looking over at Harry. Harry shrugged.

"We are still getting married."He said and Joseph nodded.

"Of course." 

"I plan on practicing with Harry, even if they won't let me convert."I said quietly. Harry looked over at me.

"You want to do Shabbat with me every time?"I nodded and he smiled."I love him."Joseph seemed pleased with me.

"I'm going to talk with the rabbi about him."

 

The next day I work up in his bed, while he had taken the floor, the gentleman he was. I looked over at the clock and it was 7:00AM. I groaned loudly which roused Harry.

"It is time to get up, meine Liebe."He said standing slowly, almost full dressed and exiting."I will let you get dressed in peace. Service starts at 9:00."I rolled out of bed and pulled on my clothes. When I got out he had buttered some bread for me.

"This one will go until noon."He said. I was surprised, but I accepted it.

"Will I have to sit by myself again?"I asked and he nodded.

"Yes, you will."I frowned and he clicked his tongue."You will always sit away from me at the synagogue Louis."I whined and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Why are you making that noise?"He asked and I pursed my lips.

"I don't want to be alone." 

"Find Margaret and the kids, they will be with their mother. You will not be alone then."I smiled at him and nodded.

"I will."

 

I did not find Margaret, Margaret found me.

"Louis, dear, come and meet the girls."I was dragged away from Harry, who was laughing and waving as I went.

"Girls, this is Louis. The omega Harry is marrying."Margaret said."This is Lisa, Ruth, and Eliza."They waved.

"You got Harry huh? He's been the talk of the synagogue ever since he started coming to service."Eliza said."He's quite good looking." 

"That's improper Eliza."Margaret shook her head and then we took our seats. It was much better this time since I wasn't really alone.

 

At the end of the service we went home. Harry took out the stew again, prayed over the braided bread and then sat down to eat.

"How was service this time?"He asked and I smiled.

"It was better, I had friends."He smiled.

"I am glad because we will never sit together during services, and you get the kids until they turn 13. Then they go whichever way they should."I frowned.

"Why 13?" 

"That is when we become adults in the eyes of God, our Bar or Bat Mitzvah."I nodded, understanding now. When we had finished eating he slipped on his shoes.

"Let us go for a walk."

 

The park was full of people and I was just happy to be with Harry. He didn't hold my hand or link arms with me, like I had always thought would happen. He was as close as he could be without touching me.

"I wish we could hold hands."I told him and he sighed.

"Me too, we do not believe in long engagements meine Liebe. I promise we will be able to hold hands soon."Harry had gotten a lot more confident since I'd met him. He was now walking around the park with his sleeves rolled up. That black tattooed number on full display. He still cared about people seeing it, but I think it was more because he didn't want their pity than him being ashamed of his experiences. He didn't want them to feel sorry for him and be sad in his presence."I have felt a lifetime of sadness Louis, I want to be happy."He would tell me. It made sense to me. His fingers brushed mine on accident and he blushed.

"Sorry."I giggled.

"It's OK."

 

We got back home and snacked while Harry tried to teach me that opening prayer. I wasn't very good, but he assured me I would get better. The Shabbat ended about a half hour after the sun went down.

"We are ending the Shabbat now, we say a ending service at home to mark the end of it. It is called the Havdalah."Harry explained setting out the wine and lighting the candle, it was a strange looking candle with multiple different wicks coming out of it. He took this little box of spices and set it down as well.

"Come Louis."I stood over by the table and he began to recite. It was amazing to me that he could remember all this Hebrew by memory and not even need a hymnal or whatever the Jewish equivalent is. I knew I couldn't do that with anything in Catholicism. When he was finished blessing the wine he looked over at me and I smiled back at him. Then he started in on the spices and I had always loved his voice, but it sounded even better when he was praying, or I guess blessing. He glanced at me before starting his prayer over the candle. All the blessings before that were short, but the final one was much longer. I listened to him, although I couldn't understand, and I felt like it was extremely meaningful to him. So it was so to me as well. When he stopped his words I looked up. He drank the wine and used some of it to put out the candle.

"That is your first Shabbat Louis."Harry said as I helped him clean up."How did it feel?" 

"Very spiritual."I found myself saying and he smiled wisely at me.

"I am glad."

 

I was sleeping in his bed, while he took the floor, that night and I woke up to him whimpering. He was saying something, but all I caught from it was no, please and Mum. This was all in German of course, but I had been there long enough to know what those words meant. I concluded he was having a nightmare.

"Bitte, Bitte."He mumbled as I leaned over the bed and looked down at him.

"Harry wake up."I said, but he didn't. I knew he wouldn't appreciate seeing me indecent, even if he was in terror in his sleep. I threw on his jumper, since it was the first thing I saw and kneeled beside him.

"Harry, love."I said pulling the blanket up over his chest and arms, before giving him a shake. He sat straight up and looked at me.

"Louis, I was dreaming about that place. My mother, she was-"He broke down after that and I just let him cuddle his face into my neck.

"Harry, you'll be fine. You're not there anymore. You're right here with me."I assured him. I started humming this lullaby my Mum used to sing to my little sisters. He perked up at that.

"How do you know that lullaby?"He asked.

"My Mum used to sing it to my sisters."I explained.

"Gemma used to sing that to Jutta and Gisela."I smiled at him.

"I'll sing it to our kids too OK, I promise."He looked at me and reached for my face, but stopped.

"Ich liebe dich."He whispered."I love you."I placed my hand over my heart.

"Now would be a perfect time to kiss me."I said and he laughed.

"You know I am not going to."He said."Give me your ring for a minute."I slipped it off my finger and placed it in his open palm. He kissed the ring and then slid it back on my finger.

"Now you have my kiss."I smiled widely and got up off the floor.

"I love you too."I told him."Goodnight Harry." 

"Gute Nacht Louis."

 

In the midst of all this, we'd only gone to see my parents once. They didn't really approve of what I was doing, but they accepted it. Mum did anyway. They let the contract be made and Harry smashed his plate. He was pretty gleeful about it too.

"My Mum never let me touch the plates at home because I dropped them."He explained."Now I get to smash one for meine Liebe."I blushed when he said that and my Mum was sold on his after that. I was putting their invite in the mail when Harry stopped me.

"How many did we invite?"He asked.

"So far, my Mum and grandparents. My siblings and a few cousins. We invited Margaret and Joseph and the kids."I put the invites in the mail and Harry groaned suddenly.

"Margaret and Joseph probably invited the entire synagogue."I laughed.

"The more the merrier!"I exclaimed."This is our wedding. We should be happy and have people there that are happy for us." 

"I am happy, but I do not want everyone in the synagogue making a mess."I laughed at him.

"Making a mess of what exactly? We'll be married and I can finally touch you. We can kiss and mate. I can have babies and we can raise them Jewish."I told him and he smiled blissfully at the fantasy.

"I cannot wait to kiss you."He replied leaning forward, but not touching our foreheads together."I cannot wait to hold your hand and see you have my children. I cannot wait to see the family we will have together. I bet our babies will get your beautiful blue eyes."I shook my head.

"Our babies will have brown or green eyes, like you, and that's OK with me."He smiled.

"Let us plan some more."

 

"Zayn! I need suits! It's for my wedding!"Zayn looked up from his book and sighed.

"Is the wedding tonight?"He asked.

"No." 

"That's a surprise."That's when his small brood of youngsters came piling out."Seriously, Grace, Carrie, go to your mother and take Ronald and the baby with you."One of the dark haired girl picked up the one year old and carried him back with them sulkily.

"They just run amuck and never care that I need my store to be child free."Zayn laughed taking our measurements again, just to double check because neither of us had grown any.

"We want them in black and I apparently get a white tie since I'm the um, what did you call it, Harry?" 

"The kallah." 

"That, which means I'm basically a bride."I laughed and Harry shook his head.

"You're not even married to him and you look sick of him."Zayn asked and Harry looked distressed.

"I am not sick of meine Liebe."He stated.

"He's joking dear."I said and he nodded.

"Oh, I understand."Zayn wrote down our specifications.

"I'll get my seamstress right on it."He told me.

"I am your wife!"Came a voice from the back.

"I love you!"He called back.

 

Next we went to this store I'd never even noticed before. It was small and tucked between two large apartment buildings.

"This is a Jewish gift store. We need to pick up some things here." 

"I would assume so since we're getting married the Jewish way we'll need some things."Harry chuckled.

"I need a kittel and a white kippah, you need a veil."I stopped and stared at him as he opened the door to the shop."Come on Louis, get in."He said and I walked into the store.

"A veil, like a bridal veil?"I asked and he nodded. The man behind the counter looked up at us.

"I am not a bride." 

"You said it yourself at Zayn's that you are."He stated.

"I said basically a bride, not actually! Do we have to?"He laughed brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"Yes."The store owner seemed to be laughing with Harry.

"A catholic ceremony isn't this complicated."I stated and Harry rolled his eyes

."You agreed to this." 

"I didn't know the full story." 

"If I had told you would you have agreed?"I smiled up at him and nodded.

"Yeah, you're worth it even if you're a pain in the ass."The owner came over to help us and his eyes immediately gravitated towards the number on Harry's arm. I stepped more in front of him on instinct.

"We need wedding supplies."I said and Harry looked up suddenly.

"Hello, yes he needs a veil and I need the kippah and a kittel, ja?"The owner nodded slowly, his eyes still stuck on his tattoo. I don't understand why they're all so afraid of being around him. They tip toe like they're going to do something wrong and set him off. He's not that sensitive and he's a human being. They needed to start treating him like he was normal, especially since I knew how much he hated their pity.

"The wedding stuff is over here, I couldn't help but overhear, you're not Jewish."The owner asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I'm trying to be, but I was raised catholic."I explained. The Jewish man frowned.

"Why are you marrying a sheygets when there are so many nice Jewish omegas out there."I didn't know what he'd just said, but from the very angry, somber expression Harry was currently sporting, I guessed it wasn't good.

"How dare you, he is my fiancé."Harry started in angrily, stepping in front of me."You see this ugly thing? I was imprisoned by intolerant people like you and I will not stand here and let you degrade him like that."I peeked around his broad shoulders to see Harry holding his tattoo under the man's nose. He looked to be positively fuming.

"Harry, whatever he said, it's OK."I tried to calm him, by he wasn't listening.

"Apologize."He growled.

"I'm sorry, for insulting you."The man mumbled."All you need is right here."He scurried away and Harry turned to me.

"I am sorry you had to see me angry." 

"It was kind of hot."I whispered. The corner of his mouth twitched up.

"Not yet Louis."I groaned as he picked up a veil.

"Do I have to?" 

"Yes Louis."I frowned as he held the veil in front of my face."Do I look good?" 

"You look beautiful."I huffed."Do you know what the veiling represents Louis?"I shook my head."It represents modesty and the lesson that however attractive the physical appearance may be, the soul and character are much more important."I placed my hand over my heart.

"That is so sweet. Do you love my soul Harry?"He nodded.

"I love your soul with all of mine."

 

Did you know that we weren't allowed to see each other for a week before the ceremony?

"But Harry, you work at my favourite coffee shop!"I whined while sitting cross legged on his couch.

"It is tradition."He replied from the kitchen."Stop being so stubborn. I will get Niall to bring you your tea and scone."He handed me my tea and sat beside me.

"I like seeing your face." 

"Just imagine how nice it will be to see me after a week of not seeing me."I sighed and sipped at my tea.

"Fine."He smiled.

"Thank you meine Liebe."

 

Niall did bring me tea and scones, but I was still miserable.

"I miss Harry."I complained to Eleanor who rolled her eyes and patted the baby on her shoulder's back.

"I'm trying to sympathize Lou, but I'm on four days without sleep and having a hard time with your romantic woes. Sure he's fun now, but we'll see how you feel about him when you look like me."I laughed at her.

"You love him anyway."She sighed.

"Yeah, I do."

 

Two days before our wedding I called him. It was late at night and I was wide awake. I missed him. So I picked up the phone and dialled the number he'd given me.

"Tag?"I almost burst into tears.

"Harry." 

"Louis, why are you calling? Are you alright?"I laughed.

"I'm fine, I just wanted to hear your voice."He sighed.

"I miss you too."I smiled.

"Could you tell me you love me, Harry?"I asked.

"I love you Louis." 

"No, I mean in German."I could almost see him smiling.

"Ich Liebe dich."I giggled into the phone.

"I love you too."

 

On the day of our wedding I was so nervous the rule about fasting never even crossed my mind. I couldn't eat I was on edge.

"What if I fuck up?"I asked my Mum as I tried to tie my own tie. My hands were shaking too violently to do so. She took over and smiled at me.

"You won't Lou, and even if you do, he'll love you anyway."I looked at her.

"Yeah, he would." 

"Nothing to worry about then."

 

The weirdest part for me was the Kabbalat Panim. I had to sit on a throne and receive our wedding guests. I was surrounded by people I didn't really know. I had several old ladies come up, give me hugs and wish me a happy marriage. At least, that's what Harry told me their phrase meant. Not that he was there. Oh no, he greeted our guests separately, and while I had a thousand people touch me and shoot Hebrew or Yiddish phrases I didn't understand at me, he was being toasted and singing. I feel as though his chatan role was far easier than mine.

 

The first time I saw him was during the veiling ceremony, or the Badeken he called it. He walked towards me and stood in front of me. The nerves and relief at finally seeing him must have been clearly displayed in my expression because he whispered to me.

"Calm down meine Liebe."As he pulled the veil down over my face, and discreetly brushed his fingers over my cheek. I gave him a small nod to acknowledge his statement. My Mum smiled at me as Harry exited. He gave her a smile as well.

 

The actual exchange of vows took place under the canopy like thing Harry kept calling the Chuppah. It looked like a tent with no sides on it. It apparently represents the home Harry and I are building together and the sides are open to welcome people, with unconditional hospitality, to our home. The tradition is that we're escorted by our parents, but Harry didn't have parents, so he walked by himself up the aisle. He went first and I followed. My Mum brought me up to the rabbi, veil covering my face and all. She went to sit and I began to walk. I circled Harry seven times, it symbolizes the building of our relationship, since the world was built in seven days. I'm supposedly building up our marriage to be strong. I settled to stand on Harry's right side and I could only hope I'd done that right. The smile and small nod from the rabbi told me that I had. Then he started to recite the betrothal blessings. I knew I should be paying attention to the rabbi, but I was looking at Harry. He seemed focused on the rabbi. When the rabbi stopped talking Harry picked up a glass of wine, drinking from it and the offering some to me. I didn't do what I wanted to, which was guzzle the whole thing since my nerves still felt like they were vibrating, I only took a few sips. Harry smiled after I placed the cup down and held up this plain gold ring.

"Behold, you are betrothed unto me according to the law of Moses and Israel."He slipped the ring onto my index finger, not my ring finger, on my right hand as his law stated. I wasn't sure how I felt about wearing the ring there, but we could discuss that later. The next event on our wedding roster was the reading of the Ketubah. It was a wedding contract outlining what my handsome chatan had to do for me. It was mostly provide for me with clothing food and a roof over my head. It also stated that he had to be fair and attend to my emotional needs. It was to protect me, the omega, which is very important to Jewish people. Our two witnesses came forward, Margaret and Joseph since they were the only Jewish couple we were close to, to sign it. It was a beautiful document and it was meant to be displayed in our house for all to see. It was also mine, to draw upon if I felt he was neglecting his duties. Although, I doubt he ever will. Next was the seven blessings, or the Sheva Brachot, over the second cup of wine on the table. The rabbi said a few and my Mum memorized two, one for her and one for Harry's Mum. We had the rabbi from Harry's synagogue say one and the rabbi recited the last blessing. The conclusion of that was we got to drink more wine. Wine is very sacred to the Jews and it's used often in many different traditions. After that was finished the rabbi wrapped a glass in a napkin to keep it from sprayed everywhere and placed it on the ground at Harry's feet. He looked at me, smiled and then stomped on it. The sound of shattering glass was almost drowned out by my family clapping and the population of the synagogue, who had shown up just as Harry suspected, enthusiastically shouting Mazel Tov. They continued to clap and cheer as we left the Chuppah together, as alpha and omega.

 

The only part of this ceremony we get to spend alone is that yichud room. This time away from everyone else signified that we were now alpha and omega, our status of living together was solidified. I however was just happy that we were married.

"Harry."I said and before I could even get the rest of it out he was folding back the veil. His hand came up to cup my face and he pulled my lips to his. His hands left my face as mine came up around his neck, slipping down to my waist. I never wanted to stop kissing and touching him, because we'd waited so long. I pressed myself against him and he pulled me impossibly closer.

"Louis, you are even better at this than I thought you would be."He commented running his thumb over my cheek."Why are you crying meine Liebe?"That's when I realized that I had tears running down my face.

"I'm just really happy."I told him."I'm also very hungry."He laughed picking up the plate of fruit and offering it to me. I ate some and he ate some. I went back to kissing him as soon as we'd both swallowed. He smiled against my lips and I felt his hand slip far lower than I expected him to.

"Harry!"I gasped when I felt his hand squeeze my ass.

"What? I have been staring at your body for months now and I want to actually feel it."He explained. I laughed and nuzzled our noses together.

"You can squeeze my ass all you want."He gave me another firm squeeze, before we heard knocking. We fixed ourselves and exited the room together. Our pinkies were discreetly linked together and I'm sure the rabbi could tell from our swollen lips exactly what we'd been doing, but I didn't care. We were married, finally married.

 

The reception was loud and full of celebration. We danced and sang and some of the synagogue goers started to juggle in the middle of the floor. I have to say that I'd never been to a wedding quite like this. Harry had our hands clasped under the table when the food came around. The strictly kosher meal was a choice of meat, potatoes and another vegetable without a speck of diary in sight.

"Meine Liebe, you are jostling the entire table with your bouncing."He said and I faked being offended.

"I do not bounce."Niall ran up to the table and leaned in.

"Can we clink glasses to make you kiss?"Eleanor was smiling widely from her seat, which the baby beside her.

"No, we don't do PDA."I answered. Niall groaned loudly.

"That just sucks the fun right out of it!"

 

After the prayer at the ending the meal it was more of the same. Dancing and singing, but I was more excited for our first night together. He could actually touch me now and he really took advantage of it. On the ride back to his flat, our home, he had his arm wrapped around my waist and my one hand in his raised to his lips. Some people might be embarrassed by his constant shows of affection, but after waiting until then to do so, I was just as into it as he was. Our foreheads were pressed together and I had a hand on his face slowing stroking my thumb over his cheek. I was enjoying the comfort of being able to feel his strong hands holding me.

"I did not think I would ever love again after losing my entire family like that."He whispered and my previously closed eyes popped open."You have shown me that I can. I do love you Louis, every inch of you."He tilted my head up to kiss him, but he shied away.

"There is a person with us."He told me and I nodded.

"OK, as long as you kiss me twice as often when we get back." 

"That can be arranged."

 

The flat was quiet and when he unlocked it he pulled me inside rather quickly.

"We're married."I stated and he nodded.

"We are, and I want to cuddle my mate." 

"I'm not your mate yet."I teased and he frowned.

"You will be, by the time I am finished."I couldn't even help the shiver that ran through my body. I followed him to the bedroom. We stripped off our jackets, ties and pants. We stood there in shirts and boxers.

"What are you doing Harry?"I asked as he paced back and forth.

"I do not know how to do this."He said.

"You're a virgin aren't you?"I asked and he nodded.

"Are you not?" 

"I'm a virgin Harry, but I've been through heat, I know a thing or two for a virgin."Harry shook his head.

"When do your heats come?" 

"Every three months."His eyes widened.

"That is very unhealthy we need to get you to the doctor's." 

"Later Harry."I stopped him by placing my hand on his chest."Get on the bed."He did as I asked and I straddled him. I sat back on his thighs and he looked up at me.

"I do not know what to do."He said.

"Do what your body tells you to."I explained leaning forward and kissing down his neck.

"How will I know what to do?"He asked and I laughed.

"You're already doing it."I felt his hands around my waist, but he still felt tense.

"Harry, loosen up, you're not going to get hard if you keep doing this to yourself."I explained and he shook his head

“I cannot. I feel helpless."I stopped kissing him and leaned back. I sighed and he looked away.

"We don't have to do this tonight Harry."I assured him, running my fingers through his hair.

"I want to do this."He said."I do not know what to do." 

"OK Harry, let's just start small."I said shuffling closer to him."You know how you said you wanted to feel my body?"He nodded. I just looked at him.

"It's time to discover Harry, touch me."He hesitated at first, but eventually he moved his hands. They skimmed over my hips and down my thighs.

"Come on Harry, touch me! Grab me! Use more than your hands."I encouraged and he did not disappoint. His head dipped to my neck as his hands gripped my thighs. I felt them slid up my body slowly, like he wanted to leave his fingerprints all over me. They grazed over my back and down my hips before settling on where I knew, and hoped, they would. His one hand cupped my ass and the other still roamed around my hips and back. His lips were working a hickey just under my jaw and I could feel myself getting more hot and bothered. I knew what was going to happen soon and I knew what it would do to him. I ground down on him as I felt it start to be sure he was at the same stage I was and he groaned into my ear. As the slick began to trickle out of me I waited for him to notice. He pulled away suddenly.

"What is that wet spot?"He asked and I just looked at him."Oh, I did that?"I nodded reaching back for his hand and guiding him into the back of my boxers.

"You want to feel how wet you made me?"I asked and his eyes widened. His fingers almost immediately found my rim and poked curiously. I whined, grabbing onto his hair and pushing back onto his fingers. He slid one finger into me without warning and I moaned.

"What are you doing Louis?"He asked and looked at him.

"I'm falling apart on you lap Harry. You're making me feel good." 

"I am?"He moved his finger and I whined.

"Yes! Yes!"I answered as he continued to move his finger."More."He slid another finger in with his first, using his other hand to yank down my boxers to have better access. He was gaining confidence by the minute, just like I knew he would once I got him going. My fingers fumbled to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"Meine Liebe."He whispered kissing me."You are so perfect." 

"Show me."I begged."Show me."He pulled out his fingers and rolled me over on to the bed.

"I will try."He said as I opened my legs to let him fall between them. I went back to unbuttoning his shirt.

"Come on alpha, take off your clothes."I whispered pulling his lips back to mine. He pulled back and shook his head like he was trying to clear it.

"You need to get rid of that shirt before I rip it off."He clarified and I laughed throwing my boxers and shirt at him. He crawled over me, wearing only boxers now. As he crawled up my body I hooked my legs over his shoulders.

"How are you bending like this?"He asked placing his hand on my knee and I shrugged.

"I'm flexible." 

"Oh."He bent to kiss me again. My fingers tangled in his hair and his arms braced himself over me on either side of my biceps. At this point I was begging him. He still hadn't done much more than rub up against me. Here I was, bent in half and completely exposed and he was holding back.

"Harry, come on, fuck me."He shook his head.

"I am trying, but you are very distracting."I pushed him back.

"Get it off then."He pushed his boxers down his hips, kicking them to the floor and immediately assuming our previous position.

"I really like that you are flexible."He stated kissing me one last time before sitting back slightly to line himself up. His eyes locked with mine as he pushed in. I gasped my hand flying up to his neck. Harry sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, groaning loudly as he bottomed out.

"You are prefect. All I have ever wanted."He whispered in my ear as he started to move. I don't know what he said after that, he slipped into his native tongue. I heard multiple I love you's and many other things that I didn't understand, but the way he said them told me all I needed to know. He was gentle and as sweet as that was. I wanted him to go harder, like I knew he could.

"Harry, faster, please?"I asked and he grunted. I knew I needed to encourage him some other way. I stretched my fingers up into his hair, twirled them into the chunks of brown curls and yanked, hard. He groaned and I got what I wanted.

"Harry."I smiled as he started pre-biting my neck. He was on the right side of my neck licking and sucking over the place he was going to mark.

"Louis, I am, I do not know the English word."I understood him anyway.

"The word is cum and me too."I gasped. He grunted and I felt his knot expanding. He pulled out of my neck and connected our lips together again for a brief moment before his knot locked him in place and I let out a high pitched whine as I spurted up between us. Harry spread his teeth over my shoulder and bit down which only caused me to moan weakly as my cock twitched. He licked over the mark, caring for me just as the Ketubah commanded him to. I was catching my breath, because heat was nothing compared to this. I crossed my ankles behind his back and he chuckled.

"I am still very surprised at this bendiness you have."He commented nuzzling his face into my calf.

"Do you like it?"I asked and he nodded.

"Very much so."As fun as it was to talk to him, I was becoming uncomfortable in our current position. Harry seemed to sense that and he moved up around slowly until I was sitting on his lap. I leaned on his chest and he pressed his lips into my hair. I laughed when I felt his hand gravitate towards my ass.

"You really like my arse don't you?"He nodded.

"It was my number one temptation when we were engaged and now we're married so I can touch it all I want."I laughed pressing my face into his neck.

"Yeah, you can."

 

I woke up the next morning to Harry. He had wrapped his arm loosely around my hips and I could feel his face pressed into my back. I shifted slightly and he did as well coming up to wrap his arms around me.

"Good morning."He whispered kissing over our mark lovingly. I laughed and rolled towards him. The look on his face was so full of love I blushed under his gaze. I trusted him completely and I loved him completely.

"What are you thinking about?"I asked him brushing my fingers over my cheek.

"I was just thinking, that maybe God spared me from the death Auschwitz usually brings so I could fall in love with you." 

"He does have a plan doesn't He?"I asked."It was in His plans for you to survive. It was in His plans for you to bump into me. It was in His plans for us to end up right here."He laughed.

"Naked in bed and freshly married?"Harry asked. I nodded quickly earning a chuckle from him.

"Most definitely."He kissed my forehead.

"I am going to make some breakfast meine Liebe."He pressed his lips against my forehead before leaving me to stretch and dress myself. I pulled on my boxers, picking them up from where he'd thrown them, and one of Harry's jumpers over it. I yawned and scratched my scalp.

"You look adorable."Harry commented standing in the doorway, I smiled and turned to him.

"Carry me!" 

"Gladly, I'd do it forever, meine Liebe."He scooped me into his arms and did just that. This was the beginning of our little forever. Rebuilding the family he'd lost started with us and I was glad to do it.

"Ich liebe dich." 

"I love you too, Harry."


	2. Epilogue

It had been seven years since Harry and I had mated. I had done a lot since then. I told him a week into our relationship I was on suppressants and he completely supported my decision to stay on them, but one day I just stopped.

"Why are you not taking your pills Louis?"Harry asked and I shrugged.

"I don't want to take them anymore. I want to have babies."His eyes widened.

"You want to have kids?"I nodded and he launched himself across the table at me. We spent that morning trying to have a baby.

 

I started my conversion to Judaism a mere six months after marrying Harry. After we decided to start a family Harry got insistent that our children be born to a fully Jewish omega. I understood because children are only born Jewish if their mother is a Jew. I was to be their mother in the literal purpose of the word, so I had to be Jewish. The rabbi didn't even argue this time and they fast tracked me once we found out I was already pregnant. I could speak Hebrew pretty well already from Harry's lessons and I was a fast learner. I converted a mere month before our first child was born.

 

I gave birth to our first, a girl, on February 4th 1948. We named her Anne, after his Mum. She's a sweetheart and loves everyone. We introduced her to the synagogue about two weeks after she was born. Everyone loved her and cooed over the sleepy infant in my arms. Harry was such a proud Dad.

"She is beautiful."He said back to a lady who had commented on how cute the baby was."Just like my mate and husband."I smiled up at him and he pressed his cheek against mine for a brief moment. The Jewish didn't approve of public displays of affection. We had to reign it in in public.

"She looks like her Dad."I told him. He laughed and nuzzled my nose.

"Let me show her to the rabbi."I handed her to him and he went up to the rabbi who immediately took my child into his arms. He looked up at me and smiled.

"What's her name?"He asked Harry and when Harry told him his eyes softened."She would've been proud."I hoped she would've been. His family may be gone, but I still fought to impress them everyday.

 

It's totally embarrassing for me to say, but our next child, a boy, was born on January 17th 1949. He barely gave me a couple months to recover before I was knocked up yet again. Not that I wasn't happy to do so. We named our boy Noah. I didn't really want anymore children. Two was a good number for me and Harry seemed to agree so I went back on the suppressants. It had been seven years since we'd gotten married. It was June 19th 1954, Anne was 6 and Noah was 5. I was pregnant yet again, with our oops child, not that we didn't love them just the same. I was due in a few months. That's when I witnessed a miracle.

 

I was making muffins in the kitchen with Anne by my side.

"Stir more like this, there you go Mami."Anne giggled at the Hebrew word, used as a term of endearment for children or spouses. In a span of seven years I had become fully fluent in Hebrew and mostly fluent in German just from hearing it from Harry and speaking it around the synagogue or the house.

"Noah! Stop climbing on the table, just you wait until your Vati gets home."That's German for Daddy. We'd decided early on that I would be Daddy and he would Vati, to keep the confusion down. Noah scrambled down from our table and came into the kitchen.

"Can I help?"He asked.

"Nein, you're too little!"Anne yelled and I shushed her.

"Of course, come here Mami, put paper cups in these for me."I handed him the trays we would be baking these muffins in and waited. I heard knocking at the door and went to answer it. I was greeted by a ragged and tired looking woman with brown hair and a surprisingly familiar face."Hello?"I said and she seemed to be looking past me.

"Is there a Harry Styles that lives here?"She asked.

"He's not here right now, I'm his husband."She looked at me and then at my stomach.

"You have children?" 

"This is our third. Who are you?"I asked and she smiled.

"My name is Gemma and I'm Harry's sister."I scoffed.

"Harry's family is dead."Her eyes widened.

"Everyone?"I nodded again and she sighed."I thought maybe papa could've survived."That's when Harry arrived and pushed past her to give me a kiss.

"Hello meine Liebe."He said.

"Harry."The woman said and he turned. His face went white like he'd just seen a ghost.

"Gemma? No, you are dead. You cannot be."I grabbed his hand and he looked at me.

"Is it really?"I asked and she nodded.

"I am Gemma."He threw his arms around her and I was overcome with emotion and started to cry.

"Oh thank God, you're alright."I said and she looked at me.

"You are my brother in law?" 

"And I mourned for you everyday."I said reaching out to clasp my hand in hers. She nodded and Harry invited her into the house.

"How?"He asked and she wiped her tears away.

"I was picked out of line by a soldier who helped me escape to England. I went back to Germany after the war to find you, but you weren't there."She explained."I haven't been able to find Jutta or Gisela. Do you know where they are?"Harry looked sad and looked at me.

"Gemma, they didn't have a use for children. I'm afraid they were sent to the, um, with your mother."Her eyes welled with tears again, but she didn't cry.

"I should have known they would be gone." 

"I thought I was the only one."Harry said and she shook her head.

"I've been looking for you since the war ended."He smiled.

"Louis is my husband. We got married in 1947. We have two, soon to be three, children. Anne is six and Noah is five."He explained and she looked towards the kitchen. My kids were standing in the doorway.

"Come here Mami."I said gesturing for them to come to me."This is your Aunt Gemma." 

"You said Aunt Gemma was gone to be with God."Anne said and I shook my head.

"We thought she had, but we were wrong."Anne walked over to her, standing in front of her while rocking back and forth on her heels.

 

"My name is Anne."She nodded.

"I am your aunt." 

"You talk funny, like Vati."Gemma smiled as Anne turned back to me."What about the muffins Daddy?!"I nodded.

"Right of course, the muffins. Vati, help me up."Harry pulled me to my feet and I breathed out slowly."This baby is killing my back."Gemma laughed and looked over at Harry.

"Why are your children so far apart?"She asked and he laughed.

"This one was an accident."She laughed. I scowled at him and started scooping batter into the tray.

"There, now we'll bake them and we can save them for breakfast on Shabbat."Anne clapped excitedly."I have to bake bread too."I reminded myself orally. I looked out into the living room and smiled as the brother and sister chatted excitedly in German. It was a miracle that he survived and it was even more of one that she did.

 

"Louis?" 

"Yes Harry."I answered him placing my hand over his on my stomach. We laid in bed that night and I was having a hard time sleeping, as per usual. It was hard to get comfortable when you're as pregnant as I am.

"You know how we were going to name it Gemma if it was a girl?"I nodded."I think we need to come up with another name."I rolled slowly onto my back and say up.

"Harry, it's 2:30 in the morning."His hand rubbed over my bump and he sighed.

"I spent so long lighting a candle for her and mourning the loss of everyone I ever loved that I'm not sure how to accept her back into my life. I'm not the same person I was when she knew me."Harry didn't talk about his experience at the camp much, but I'd held him through enough body racking sobs after his nightmares to tell how bad it was.

"She's changed too I'm sure."I said running my fingers through his hair.

"Not like I have. She didn't watch the death like I did. She didn't starve like I did. She didn't spend everyday in fear that her number would be the next to go into the chamber. She didn't watch my father die."He said tears welling in his eyes. I pulled his head down to my neck and placed his hand on my stomach. I kissed the top of his head and he pressed his lips against the column of my throat. We spent every moment of our alone time touching each other. It was like we were making up for the time we couldn't touch each other by being overly touchy.

"Your experiences made you who you are Harry. I love you and she'll love you too."He sniffed and rubbed my stomach."You'll excite the baby, stop it."I giggled as he blew a raspberry on my neck.

"Do you want to do something?"He asked and I scoffed.

"No, no way Harry. I am not letting you do that right now."He pouted, but accepted my answer. We went back to sleep, with his arm around my waist and our hands clasped together.

 

We had experienced a miracle, but the miracle had it's hiccups. He was right to assume that she wouldn't understand why or how he'd changed.

"All these tattoos on sailors are popping up. It seems vile to me."She commented one day and Harry looked up at me. She hadn't seen his tattoo yet.

"Vati has a tattoo."Noah said and Gemma raised her eyebrows.

"Mutti would die Harry. What is it?"He cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked at me.

"It's his number."I explained quietly and she looked confused.

"His camp number."I said again and she just nodded. I knew she didn't get it.

 

Another incidence was when we were baking bread together and managed to burn it. She just opened the stove and let all the smoke out, just as Harry walked in.

"Harry, don't breathe through your nose!"I yelled, but it was too late. He smelled the smoke, the smell of burning, this look of horror crossed his face and I was over to him in a heartbeat.

"Open all the windows and close the stove!"I yelled and Gemma slammed the stove shut. Anne and Noah opened the windows.

"Harry, Harry look at me."I said placing my hands on his face."Babe, I'm here. It's Louis, you're in your home, not there. You're not there."His eyes, wide and scared focused in on me. He relaxed slightly.

"I'm going to be sick."He groaned and Anne ran over with a bowl. I shoved it in front of my mate as he heaved.

"Try not to breathe through your nose."I said rubbing his back. Gemma just stood there, flabbergasted by what she's just witnessed.

"It was just some burnt bread."She said and he looked at her and then at me.

"I told you."He said."I told you." 

"Not now Harry."I told him. When he was finished feeling queasy he looked over at Gemma who was still confused and shook his head.

"I need to lay down."He told me. I kissed him quickly before he went off to bed.

 

Our next daughter was born on September 7th 1954, we named her Hope, and that's when I sat down with Gemma to talk to her about her brother. It was after she had asked why he always sat with his back pressed against the wall. He was gone to work and the kids were at school. The baby was napping and she was over. I sat her down on the couch and explained to her that Harry wasn't the same Harry she'd known before the war.

"I'm sure you've noticed that he's different."I said and she nodded."Harry has a flashbacks to his days at the camp and certain things set those off. Such as, the smell of smoke or any kind of broth. I can't cook broth based soup while he's in the house because the smell and taste of it triggers his episodes. He's also very paranoid about getting taken back there. He sits with his back against the wall or facing the door for that reason. His guilt complex is huge. He has cried for hours in my arms because he couldn't save anyone. He just had to watch them die and why did he survive when they didn't?"She nodded.

"The camp changed him, you escaped that and I'm glad you did, but you have to understand that the Harry you knew is a little different than Harry now." 

"I understand that. He's fine though."I shook my head.

"He's not really, he still has nightmares. They haven't gotten any better. You just have to understand that he doesn't act the way he acts because of something silly. He watched people die and that's not something you can forget."She sat back and stared at me.

"Is it really that bad for him?"I nodded.

"It's that bad."

 

In 1964, when Anne was 16, Noah was 15 and Hope was 10 we went to Poland. We decided that it was important that they knew what happened to their grandparents.

"Are you sure you want to go back there Harry?"I asked and he nodded.

"I'm sure. I don't want to live in fear anymore."He was 37 and I was 40 when we went to the Auschwitz museum in Poland. When we got there they escorted us in. I thought that Harry's grip on my hand was going to cut off the circulation. He looked around and took a deep breath.

"We can still turn around."I told him and then I saw Anne slip her hand into her father's.

"No, we're going to do this."He said. We joined a tour group of Jewish students going through the museum. The guide talked about what life was like at the camp and how the Jews were treated. Harry was quiet the entire time, until she said something about the bunks.

"These bunks were packed tightly with prisoners. They would sleep as many as they could to one bunk." 

"How many were on your bunk Vati?"Hope asked quietly and Harry looked down at our daughter.

"About eight, why do you ask?"She looked at the bunk and back at him.

"That is a lot." 

"Yes, it is."He answered smiling at her.

"Excuse me sir, it's very disrespectful of those who died or survived for you to talk through the tour."The guide said narrowing her eyes at Harry. He rolled his eyes.

"No one could imagine the horror of this place."She continued.

"Was it really that bad?"Hope asked and Harry picked her up.

"It was Mami, but there's no reason to be afraid. They are long gone now." 

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave soon."The tour guide said and Harry just looked at her.

"My daughter was asking me a question, I'm sorry."He was actually quite nice about it. She left him alone after that.

 

"You can walk around now, if you'd like and take a look at the bunks. You can touch them, but be gentle."The guide urged. I watched as Harry walked towards a bunk on the opposite side of the room. He ran his fingers down the post as some of this kids from the tour group tried to see how many could fit on one bunk. I walked over behind him and looked at what his fingers were lingering over.

"Harry are those your initials?"I asked when I saw the crudely drawn H.S. on the bedpost. He nodded sadly.

"I thought that if I never got out of here, at least they would be forced to know I existed."He said looking over at the school kids."I slept here, my father slept with me and this Dutch woman who had been hiding Jews in her attic slept on that bunk over there."He pointed towards the one the students were occupying about two over.

"She was very nice and used to give up part of her soup for the sick. She tried to nurse my father, but it was no use. He was dying."He shook his head."I don't even know when he died."I wrapped my arm around his waist and cuddle into him as his arm came up around my shoulders.

"I love you Louis." 

"Vati, are you OK?"Anne asked.

"I will be Anne. It's just hard."She was soon at his other side and Noah stood off to my side as Hope cuddled right into me. In front of the bedpost where he'd carved his initials 20 years earlier, we had a moment of silence for all those who hadn't been as lucky as my husband.

 

When we got the gas chambers, he was very quiet. He stood in the middle of the room and I rubbed his back. He cried and the guide asked if he was alright. I explained for him, like I always did.

"He will be fine."I told her."My husband was held here."Her eyes widened.

"His parents died here."She took a step back and looked towards our kids.

"Are you alright sir?"She asked and he nodded wiping his face.

"I'm fine. I lost almost my entire family, but I have more family now."He smiled down at Hope who beamed back up at him.

"I've never given a tour to a survivor before, I guess you don't really need one." 

"It is much easier to walk around here now that it was then. You are not ankle deep in mud."He commented reaching for my hand.

"It is time to move on."She said.

"Yes it is."He replied.

 

At the end of the tour a little girl from the students came up to us. She looked to be about 13, so not really little, but little enough.

"Hello, my name is Gisela. I wanted to say that you are very brave."She said quietly and I looked at Harry. He knelt down to her level.

"Hello Gisela, I'm Harry."He said.

"How do you not hate them?"She asked and he sighed.

"When I left this place I didn't believe there could be anything good in the world. People that were nice or kind couldn't possibly exist since they had let this happen to me and my family. I thought that God had abandoned me and I hated the people who put me in here."He told her."He obviously hadn't, since when I moved away from Germany and into England I met my husband up there. His name is Louis and he restored my faith in not only God, but in good people too. Always remember that Gisela, no matter how bad the world around you may seem. There will always be good people." 

"But they did so much bad stuff to you."She whispered and he shook his head.

"Hate is a terrible thing Gisela. It will eat you from the inside out if you let it. The Nazi's hated the Jews and that's how I ended up in here. If I hate them, how am I any better than them?"She was so perplexed by him. I was too sometimes.

"Never hate anyone and always remember that there's good in the world no matter how hard the evil tries to stomp it out."He reiterated and she nodded.

"Thank you."She wandered off to be with her classmates and Harry stood.

"That was rather profound."I told him and he nodded.

"I felt like she needed to hear that."He told me as we linked hands once again. I grabbed Hope, who was sitting on the bench nearby and called for our other two.

"Bo ne-lekh!"I yelled, come here in Hebrew, and the entire crowd of kids turned to look at me."Noah! Anne!"I tried their names this time and they came running.

"Sorry Dad."Anne apologized. We walked out of that place and Harry turned back to look at the gates one last time.

"Auf Wiedersehen."He whispered before turning back to his family."That was a trip, let's get dinner. It's time to move on."

**Author's Note:**

> I got all my information about Judaism and their traditions online so if you spot a perceived mistake, please let me know by contacting me on my tumblr, wattpad or twitter. Thank you.


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